


A Slayers Journey

by Feoxide



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Biotic Shepard, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, ME1, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), Vanguard (Mass Effect)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-12 22:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4496325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feoxide/pseuds/Feoxide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follow my paragade Slayer Vanguard Shepard's journey through out Mass effect 1 with his love interest in Kaidan Alenko. Will they stay together or will their insecurities keep them apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This will be my first time writing like this so bare with me. I am very excited to write this!

The first time Shepard entered the Normandy he got the whiff of new electronic smells, if that's even a thing. He notices the cockpit with the pilot, Joker, already sitting in his seat on the left and walks to the right to see a galaxy map. Navigator Pressly notices Shepard passing by and salutes causing everyone in the vicinity to salute as well.  

 “As you were.” Shepard salutes back. He continues to explore the ship and finds the medbay, captain cabin, sleeper pods. Shepard finds a console and tries to input his data to get into his locker.

 “Establishing secure connection.. Secure connection CONFIRMED. Please log in to access your profile.” Leonardo Cross Shepard 5923-AC-2826

 “Warning Data Corruption detected. Profile reconstruction required.” _Ah damn it_

 “Confirm Pre-service History.” Colonist, Mindoir

 “Confirm Psychological Profile” Sole survivor, Akuze

 “Confirm Military Specialization.” Slayer Vanguard

 “Confirm Facial Identification”

 “Seriously?” Shepard said looking frustrated and pressing random commands on console.

 Kaidan looks up from the console he was working on and saw the Commander abusing the console across from him. “Don’t worry Commander there’s a camera right here” Lieutenant Alenko walks behind him and points towards the camera. “Don’t have to input how you look like now.” He said smirking. It takes his picture. In his buzz cut hair with a scar running up on the left side and another scar on the left eyebrow, with Shepard looking confused.

 “Profile construction complete.”

 “Thanks Kai, um I mean LT.” He said rubbing his eyes from the flash then looking at Kaidan then looking around to see if anyone heard him.

 “No problem Commander.” Alenko smiles and salutes, does an about face and walks back to the other console.

Shepard walks to the elevator to explore the ship even further and end up on the storage/engineering deck and finds the M35 Mako. Shepard walks closer to the mako wanting to see how she ticks but the silence was broken.

 "Commander?" Shepard takes a step back and looks up where the sound was emanating from.

 "Yes Joker?"

 "The Captains looking for you, he's waiting in his cabin."

 "On my way"

 He takes the elevator back up. _Seriously? We live in the future and we can't get elevators to move any faster than this?_ After a few painstaking minutes of boredom in the elevator Shepard walks towards the Captain's cabin and spots Kaidan working on the same console. Kaidan notices Shepard walking by, nods to him and continues working on the console.

 "Sir you called for me?" Shepard says as he enters the room and the door closes behind him.

 "Come on son you know when we are alone you don't have to call me sir. How are you liking the ship?" He says as he walks towards the chairs in his cabin.

 Shepard smiles. "She's perfect Anderson." He follows Anderson towards the chairs while Anderson pulls out a data pad.

 "We will be picking up a Specter once we leave port." Placing the data pad back on the table.

 "Why?" Shepard asked inquisitively.

 "A shakedown run." He said getting up and walking towards the door with Shepard right on his tail.

 "But sir why a Specter?" Shepard asked as they walked out of Anderson's cabin and walked to the kitchen passing Kaidan who was still working on the console.

 "That's need to know Commander."

 "Yes sir"

 "Hungry?" Anderson asks as he reaches in the biotic section grabbing a bar and handing it to Shepard.

 "Starving sir" Shepard smiles and takes the bar and wolfs it down tossing the wrapper in the trash.

 "Have you explored the ship fully yet?"

 "I think so..I haven’t been in the med bay yet." Shepard says as he looks into the medbay. "Would the doc have - "

 "Ah don't worry son we have all meds fully stocked with yours and Alenko’s meds as well. You should remember the doctor." Shepard head tilts to the left while Anderson waves inside the medbay. A few crew members began to form at the mess hall to see their new XO.

 "I should remember?" The door to the med bay opens and a woman with silver hair walks out with a smile.

 "Why Shepard it has been a while." In her British accent.

 "Doctor Chakwas!" Shepard grinned and walked towards her, giving her a bear hug. Everyone who was near by gave the Commander a startled look in which caused him to blush. Chakwas and Anderson started laughing causing the Commander to turn even more red and the crew joined in on the laughter.

 "Okay okay that's enough, everyone back to their post." Anderson was trying to stifle himself. Everyone else went back to work while Anderson, Chakwas and Shepard walked to the med bay.

 

xXx

 

“You know I heard one of those L2 freaks are in the crew.” Corporal Barret said demeaningly.

 “L2? How do you know?” Private Fredricks asked in awe.

 “I got my ways” Corporal Barret said smugly.

 “But what’s an L2? Wait isn’t it those the first human biotics?” Fredrick’s tilts his head as he looked at Barret.

 “Yeah the freaks of nature. Heard everyone of them goes insane, besides all biotics are freaks man.”

 “Well I think they’re cool!” Corporal Jenkins chimes in. “Glowing all blue and making stuff move with their minds!” Giving them a show with his hands.

 “Ugh Jenkins you know they are just for show right? I bet they can’t even blow anything up. Alliance probably just bullshitted everything to get more cannon fodder out here.” Barret said pleased with himself.

 Kaidan couldn't stand by any further and walks behind them and made them all jump.

 “We can easily kill you without the use of weapons, you know that right?” Kaidan said slyly as he wanted to put that complacent ass in his place. He noticed Shepard just walking past the boxes in the background looking vexed.

 “Wait LT!” Jenkins ran up to Kaidan “Can you lift me off the ground?”

 “I don’t think that would be appropriate..”

 “Yeah come on LT give the Corporal over there a good show” Shepard said grinning. Everyone stood and give Shepard a salute. “As you were.” He saluted back. “Go on LT I even got the doctor to come down here.”

 “Jeeze Commander no pressure” Kaidan said smugly. He placed a barrier around Jenkins and slowly started lifting him up.

 “THIS IS SO COOL! Lift me higher LT!” Kaidan compiled and started to focus on Jenkins lifting him higher and higher. Barret’s jaw dropped as Jenkins began to look like he was floating and dropped the container he was holding making Kaidan lose his concentration and flung the Corporal across the room. Luckily for Jenkins the Commander caught him in time before he hit the deck shocking everyone, other than Chakwas and Kaidan, in the room.

 “THAT WAS AWESOME!” Jenkins said triumphantly with his hands in the air while Chakwas was diagnosing him for injuries.

 Shepard and Kaidan began walking towards the elevator.

 “Oh and Corporal Barret next time I hear you talking shit about L2's let me remind you there are two on board and one of them is your XO.” A whimper came out of Barret’s mouth as Shepard and Kaidan both began to grin and continued to walk to the elevator.

 

xXx

 

“You know you kinda was a little harsh on Barret.” Kaidan whispered in the elevator.

 “I did what you wanted to you Kai.” Shepard said smiling. “I saw your flare even if they didn’t.”

 Kaidan looked down feeling ashamed. Shepard noticed and raised him omnitool to stop the elevator.

 “Hey Kai, look at me.” He said tilting Kaidan’s chin upwards. “Don’t feel bad okay? Everyone loses control from time to time.”

 “But I don’t Commander I haven’t since BaAT.” Kaidan looked up and saw hurt in Shepard’s eyes. “What’s wrong Commander?”

 “Nothing.. Just not used to you calling me Commander..” Shepard sighed and raised his omnitool to let the lift continue to its destination and looked forward.

 “Shepard -”

 “Look its okay, I understand. Duty comes first.” Shepard said in a stoic manner.

 “Shepard let me explain damn it.” Kaidan puts his omnitool up to stop the lift. He pulls Shepard to the side semi pinning him on the wall. Shepard sighs in resignation. “I do want us to be together but then it will look like I’m sleeping with you just to move up in the ranks or you start playing favorites. Know what I mean?” Shepard nods face still stoic. “Come on Shepard give me something here” Kaidan starts to get frustrated and began to rub the bridge of his nose.

 “What do you want me to say Kai? Anything I say wont change anything. Do you want me to lie to you and say everything will be alright if we break up? I have never lied to you before Kai and I will not start now. I wont be alright if we - “ Shepard chokes back a sob. “Break up, but if that’s what you want I wont stop or pester you about it. It's your decision Kaidan. Know this though, every time I've said I love you I have always meant it.” Pushing himself away from Kaidan toward the other half of the lift leaving an utterly stunned Kaidan from his path. “Now start this damn thing Lieutenant.” He said putting his Commander Shepard mode on while while making sure Kaidan couldn't see his face.

 Kaidan can hear Shepard sniff but starts the lift anyway like a good soldier following orders. He saw Shepard's shoulders slump down but then raised back to soldier mode as the doors opened.

“Comman -” Kaidan was cut off quickly as Shepard quickly ran off to the crew’s quarters. _Ah shit I’m fucked._


	2. Que flashback!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I honestly was trying to go a different direction with this one but I kinda like how it ended up. 
> 
> Small warning there are cursing in this chapter but I think that's still technically teen right? Everyone curses right?

Shepard was in the crew deck moping around. The aura he was giving out made everyone too frightened to walk in the room so he had the whole room to himself. “You’re so fucking stupid Shepard!” He said angrily, while his biotics were going haywire, walking towards the lockers and punched his foot locker making it dent. “No, I will not lose any more control.” He stated trying to calm himself back down letting his biotics dissipate. Does Kaidan really want to end this relationship? Shepard let out a resigned sigh. _I need to focus. I didn't make it to officer ranks just to lose it now did I?_ He took a deep breath in, and out. His biotics started to fizzle away.

“Hey Commander?” _Oh good a distraction._

“Yes Joker?”

“Doctor Chakwas is looking for you, she kinda sounds mad.”

“You sure she just wasn’t mad at you?”

“Um maybe? I don’t know everyone always sounds mad to me”

“Only you Joker, tell her I'm on my way”. Shepard chuckled, stood tall and began fixing himself up to look presentable. He walked towards the med bay and noticed Kaidan was still working on that console outside Anderson’s cabin. Both of their eyes met and a felt a pain in his heart as he realized Kaidan quickly looked away from him. Instead of wallowing in self-pity he continued his way to the doctor wondering what she needs of him this early.

“Ah there you are commander.” She said as he entered the room.

“Sorry to keep you waiting?” Unsure of how long she was looking for him. She smiled at him as she went to a locker and took her stethoscope out and motion Shepard to have a seat on the bed.

“Ah right forgot about my check up didn’t I?”

“That's correct.” She motioned for him to take his shirt off so she can check his check his vitals.

Breath in. Out. In. Out. She began looking at her omnitool.

“Are you feeling okay? Your blood pressure is on the high side.”

“I'm fine, maybe a bit anxious. Anderson said he had a surprise for me after we pick up this spectre in a few days.” Shepard smiled as the doctor started to attach him to the ECG.

“As you know this will tell us how your heart is beating today.” Smiling as she turned it on and let it run. The door to the med bay opened and Kaidan marched in and saw Shepard shirtless and full of wires attached to him.

“Sorry I'll come back later.” Kaidan did an about face and started to walk back out.

“Lieutenant it's alright.” She said as she turned to face Kaidan. “This should take a few minutes.” Pointing towards the machine. “What is it that you need?” Kaidan looked at Shepard noticing his stoic face as he kept his stare forward away from his position.

“Oh um I was wondering if I can get a shot? I’m feeling a migraine coming on but it looks like your busy so..” Kaidan began to rub between the bridge of his nose. The doctor smiles and goes to the cabinets to look for Kaidan's medicine and motions for him to sit across from Shepard. Their eyes met and Kaidan saw the terror in them which made him want to run over to him and comfort him and make everything better. “Comm--”

\--

A horrifying scream broke through the calm silence of the makeshift camp. The ground trembled, as every marine there was caught off guard. Being a vanguard Shepard was able to run away quickly and dodge most of the acid the gigantic worms were spitting at them. The screaming of his fellow marines, the screeches of the worms and the putrid smells of blood and guts all around him burned into his mind. He began looking for survivors when the worms disappeared back to the underground and found the Corporal hovering over the unconscious Commander.

“Shepard! The Commander is still breathing, grab him and get outta here!” Shouted Corporal Cornell as Shepard grabbed the unconscious marine.

“What about you?! I just can't leave you here!”

“Forget about me! Get the Commander to safety!” He said as he grabbed more frag grenades and tossed them to the ground. “Gimme all your extra grenades, if I distract them long enough you two can escape.”

A loud groan emitted from the commander. “No Mark don't leave me..I can still fight.” He said struggling from Shepard who was still holding him to Cornell.

“This is the only way I know to save you..” He said as he gingerly cupped the Commander's face toward his stopping his struggle. “You knew this is how it's supposed to be, the higher officers are priority.” Mark looked away noticing the ground started vibrating harder. “I love you Danny, everyday with you has been a blessing and I regret nothing.” Pulling him into a deep and passionate kiss. Shepard looked away trying to give them a their privacy and saw the giant worms again emerging from the ground and grabbed his fallen sword on one hand whilst still holding on to the commander. “I swear to god Shepard if he dies I am fucking haunting you.”

Corporal Cornell ran towards the where the worms went underground, took one last look back and suddenly the ground underneath him opened up and he was swallowed right in. A few moments later that same worm came up from the ground bleeding with a hole in its guts.

“MARK NO!” The Commander yelled in anguish and began to fight Shepard to let him go after his lover. “I FUCKING SWEAR TO CHRIST SHEPARD, LET ME GO!” The Commander got a good punch on Shepard which caused him to drop the Commander. Further cuffing ensued as the Commander began overpowering Shepard.

“Please Commander don’t make me use my biotics on you.” He was practically begging the Commander now.

“J-just let me die here.. Cant you understand? He was my whole life, my world and now he’s-- he’s gone. Just like that..God..” He punched the ground hard and his right hand began to bled, leaving trails of blood on both their clothing as he started to clutch his arm. “Shit that hurt.. Please Shepard just go, s-save yourself.”

“I-I can’t do that sir.” The sorrow in the Commander's voice caused Shepard to be stunned at the scene that just unfolded in front of him.

“WHY THE FUCK NOT?!”

“His last wishes were for you to be safe.” Shepard said looking down realizing that the man in front of him was no longer his commander but a man who just lost his partner. The valiant Commander that he would follow to hell and back was on the floor bawling his eyes out. Shepard stayed silent as he let the commander try to get himself back together, handing him his last medigel to fix up his hand. The worms began getting active again.

“Look Shepard just go and leave me here..” The Commander said collecting himself and he looked like he’s ready to embrace his death.

“Im not just gonna leave you here to die!” He grabs the Commander in a fireman's carry and starts sprinting off to higher ground.

“I’m just slowing you down! Just go!” He started squirming on top of Shepard trying to make himself fall off.

“Your death will not be on my conscience!” He said grunting in pain as something hot and hits his suit and began to burn his legs. “Shit!” Shepard said in a panic as they started to fall into what looks like quicksand. Suddenly a screech was heard from below then everything was blackened.

\--

Rapid beeping sounds made Shepard slowly come out of his flashback and had made Kaidan jump, they both ended up looking at the machine.

“Ah Shepard what's wrong? Shepard look at me.” She saw him sweating and knew he was having a flashback but which one? She decided not to bring it up until he was ready to talk to her. “Just breathe, you’re fine you’re on the Normandy. Shepard?” He started blinking hard trying to get himself back to the present. “Are you back with us Commander?” She looked at him with full concern in her face.

“Yeah sorry.. Just a flashback.” He said trying to catch his breath and calm himself down, he gave the doctor a sheepish smile. Chakwas sighed and he knew he was in trouble. “I'm fine really..”

“I forget your so stubborn sometimes.” She smiled at him. “In that case Shepard you're free to go, just remember to come back for your check up tomorrow. Oh should you need a refill just tell me and I will give them to you.”

“Yes ma'am, thank you ma’am.” He said as she took him off from the machine. He grabbed his shirt, put it on. ”I should go..” He looked at Kaidan then the doctor. “Alenko, Doc.” He said with a nod and walked out the med bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really sure where I'm going with this now, I haven't played ME1 in a awhile and I usually just speed run through ME1 :(

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys like it and thanks for getting this far!


End file.
